For those who do not know, Ramadan is the ninth month in the Islamic calendar. It’s a month where we refrain from eating and drinking from sunrise to sunset. It’s more than just that. Ramadan is the month the Quran was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad. It is also a time to get closer to God, perhaps by praying more or reading the Quran, and bettering one’s self spiritually, morally, etc. It is also a time for families to come together and celebrate.
Sounds pretty nice, right?
Yes, if you were born into a Muslim family.
I am not looking forward to this time of year. Last year, my first year as a convert, I had trouble fasting. How is a fatty such as myself going to refrain from eating/drinking for sunrise to sunset, when normally I have a snack every 15min?! (exaggeration)
This year I’m not really concerned about the whole “not eating or drinking”.
I just notice how the other Muslims I follow on social media are so excited for Ramadan. I was focusing on their happiness and eagerness as it approaches later this month. Why wasn’t I like this? It didn’t take me long to figure out why.
I am alone. I have no Muslim family or friends. I have no one to share this happiness and eagerness with. I have to fast by myself (sometimes even breaking the fast early because I get asked “why aren’t you eating?”), I have to pray by myself, I have to read the Quran by myself, I have to have Eid by myself.
From a young age, Muslim children are exposed to the meaning of Ramadan firsthand. They have all of their family together, make traditional meals, and just enjoy the holiness of this month.
It’s hard for converts such as myself. I wonder if anyone else feels slightly like this..?
habibtiii94 
Yes. I too have felt the same loneliness you’ve felt. And I was born into a Muslim family and am doing ramadhan with my Muslim family. I still feel loneliness, even though alhamdulilah I know I shouldn’t. But I think the part where I differ from you is that I’m angry at said family and it’s taking a lot in me to forgive and try to build relations with them. I’m sorry if I’m complaining but I’m trying to change as a Muslim, to become a better person and I feel like my family members are not. I want them to grow as people and try to be better than they were before ramadhan but because I feel like I’m trying this journey alone I think that’s why I’m angry AND lonely in terms of my emotions. Idk… I’m just going through a lot.
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I don’t really feel like I should celebrate Eid . I will celebrate with my fiancé , he says I should and not to feel discouraged . In sha Allah next year you and I we will both feel different . May Allah bless you and your family , ameen .
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