I’m not sure if I am depressed. Some times I am happy, then when I am out having a good time, all of my worries hit me all at once and I’m ready to go home and crawl into bed. I sometimes make excuses when my best friend wants to hang out. I love her dearly, but sometimes I just don’t want to hang out.
There’s other feelings too. I can’t even explain them. I will get home and take off my clothes and just leave them on the floor, not because I’m lazy, but because I simply just don’t want to put them up. Same with laundry. I keep putting it off until absolutely necessary. When it’s done drying, I will not fold them. I will eventually, but not right away. It’s like I don’t have the energy. I’m not sure.
I go to Disney often. I’ll be having a great time, and then all of a sudden everything hits me all at once like a freight train. When I make plans to go out, it’s because I’m actually feeling OK for once at the moment. Then when the time comes, I ask myself “Why did I make these plans?” I will go out and sometimes enjoy myself. But all the while I’m out, I’m just looking forward to laying in bed later.
If you would ask me what I like to do, I’d honestly stay, “Stay in bed and do nothing” . I just would rather lay in bed because I feel as if my problems and worries go away.
I’m not sure what these feelings are. It’s a consistent thing, not once a week or twice a week. It’s every single day.